


Blame and Declarations

by Jakobre_the_Writer



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25224049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakobre_the_Writer/pseuds/Jakobre_the_Writer
Summary: Blake finds herself spiraling into a vortex of self doubt and blame. Blame for everything that's happened, all the hurt that her team has gone through, especially Yang, it's all Blake's fault. She knows that for a fact. After all, how could anyone forgive the horrible things she's caused?
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Comments: 6
Kudos: 102





	Blame and Declarations

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by something that I saw in chat while watching one of SayoHyou's art streams!

It was pouring outside, raining sideways Yang would say. Blake almost wished she was outside, getting as battered as the windows of their Atlas dorm. How poetic that the world outside would perfectly compliment her mood. Blake’s ears drooped atop her head and she slumped against the wall next to her bed, her feet hanging over the side and bouncing idly. 

It was always days like this that reminded Blake of Beacon. She wasn’t sure why, not really, Beacon had been fire and heat, not rain and cold. But somehow, as the rain roared against the window and Blake’s mood dropped, the images of Beacon would always return. The memories flooded back, overwhelming Blake’s walls and defenses no matter how many years she had put into overcoming her anxieties and doubts. Blake had always considered herself well equipped to deal with stress, though time had proven her wrong over and over. Today was no exception. The images came back in a torrent, smashing through Blake’s attempts to ignore them like a wave, forcing her to sit rigid and relive those horrible moments, those hellish hours. 

The tournament.

Pyrrha. 

Penny.

Cinder.

Adam.

Y-Yang.

Yang, who had said that she would always save Blake a spot, always save her a dance. Yang, who had always been there for Blake, who had helped her when Blake’s obsessions had almost torn her apart. Yang, who couldn’t bear to see her teammates hurt, who would do anything to protect them. Adam had known about that. It was written all over Yang’s face, stained her voice in the way she cried out,

“Blake? Where are you?” 

Yang who had lost so much trying to protect her. 

Adam had used Blake as bait, as a piece of meat to attract his prey. And Blake had been powerless to stop him. Logically, she knew that her role in Yang’s injury was minor, coincidental, Yang was a Huntress in training, injury was part of the job. But that didn’t make it any easier to remember that night, and fear never listened to logic. 

Blake  _ knew _ it was her fault. Her own stupid fault for getting Yang hurt, for making her lose an arm. She had been weak, helpless, needing defending like some kind of pathetic worm and Yang had thrown herself into the lion’s den to save her. If only Blake hadn’t been so worthless, so unforgivably horrible, then she could have fought Adam off, she might have escaped. She and Yang could have run off together, found Ruby and Weiss and-and-

And what?

Adam would’ve kept hunting them. Adam never gave up, not when he felt he’d been wronged, however twisted his mind. Yang would’ve been forced to defend Blake eventually, and it would've still been Blake’s fault. 

Even now, even with Adam dead and Yang and Blake’s declaration of protecting each other, the memories, the possibilities, the  _ blame _ , it never left Blake’s head. Powerful declarations were all the more flimsy through the lens of terror and self doubt. 

Blake didn’t know when she’d started crying, only that she suddenly had tears streaming down her face. She choked back a sob and hurled herself to her bed, burying her face in her pillow. She wanted to scream, she wanted to howl in anguish at the knowledge, the undeniable truth that she was the blame for Yang’s injury. Yang’s greatest hurt had been caused not by Adam or Salem or Cinder, but by Blake. And she knew it. They both knew it. Gods, it was lucky that Yang let her back on the team at all, it was lucky that she had been there, had  _ wanted _ to be there to protect her when Adam returned. 

Blake had never been very lucky, and she knew that her luck was about t-

“Hey Blake!,” Yang exclaimed as she walked in and Blake went rigid, hoping against hope that Yang would assume she was asleep and leave. It was easier to wallow in self pity and misery alone, after all. But she knew better, and Yang did too. “Hey,” Yang said softly, placing a hand on Blake’s back, “You okay?”

Of course not. “Yep,” Blake said, not lifting her head from the pillow, “Fine. Just resting.”

“Blake…” Yang said gently and Blake looked over, her cheeks red and blotchy from crying. Immediately, Yang’s eyes went wide and she gasped, then went to wrap Blake up in a hug. She hesitated momentarily and though Blake’s mind screamed that it was because she knew that Blake was to blame, Blake knew what it really was. Yang was checking to see if Blake wanted a hug, if that was something she needed right now. Blake’s heart melted, even through the pain and anguish. Yang’s caring, her desire to protect people and make sure they were comfortable, it shone through even in times like this. Blake nodded jerkily and Yang hugged her tightly, stroking up and down Blake’s back comfortingly. “It’s okay,” Yang said softly, “You’re okay. You’re safe.”

This wasn’t the first time that Yang had helped Blake through one of her panic attacks. It probably wouldn't be the last, certainly not if Yang had anything to say about it and Blake had no plans to leave her side, ever if she had her way. Yang had gotten very good at knowing what to do to calm Blake down, and it always started with Yang telling her, again and again, that she was okay, she was safe. 

This time it wasn’t enough.

The words came tumbling out even as Blake began to cry again, her tears wetting Yang’s hair. “I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry you got hurt! I should’ve been stronger, I should’ve been faster, I shouldn’t have run! I’m so fucking sorry, Yang.”

Yang let out a long sigh and Blake tensed up, immediately worried that Yang was going to agree with her. She should be sorry. She should be ashamed. And then Yang would leave. But that wasn’t what happened, not at all. “You don’t have to be sorry, Blake. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But I-but I-” Blake started to protest and Yang shushed her gently, hugging her reassuringly.

“I don’t blame you for any of it, not even for running. I get it, Weiss and I talked about it and...I get it now.” Yang’s voice was gentle and kind and Blake could feel her breath slowing, her pulse beginning to drop to a steadier beat. “The worst thing in the world that you could imagine, it happened. It happened right when you let your walls down.”

Blake leaned back and pressed her forehead gently against Yang’s, amber eyes meeting lilac. “Yeah,” Blake mumbled.

“It wasn’t your fault, Blake. You couldn't have known. Nobody knew that it was gonna be that bad, not me, not Ruby or Weiss, not even Ozpin knew it would be that bad. It wasn’t your fault Blake, none of it.” Yang smiled softly and added with a soft murmur, “Not even my arm.”

“But-but-” Blake stammered, then swallowed hard to clear her throat and said, “Weren’t you mad?”

Yang sighed heavily and shook her head, looking away for a brief moment as though looking back through time. “I wanted to be. I really did. But I couldn't. I know none of it was your fault, especially not my arm. I did that, I chose that. I’d choose it again. I could never be mad at you about that. And honestly Blake?” Yang looked up and Blake gasped when she saw that Yang was crying now too, tears dropping in between them and mixing with Blake’s on the bed sheets. “I just really fucking missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Blake whispered, reaching up and wiping one of Yang’s tears away. “Gods, I missed you so much.”

“I missed you so godsdammed much,” Yang murmured, “I missed my best friend. Gods, I missed how you would mutter under your breath when you read a part in a book you liked.”

“That pissed Weiss off,” Blake said softly and laughed when Yang nodded ruefully.

“Yeah it did, but I loved it. I missed how you’d get me to miss class, you little troublemaker.”

“Not all of us can or want to have perfect attendance, Yang. You needed to have some fun,” Blake teased, her muscles relaxing as the two of them settled into their usual banter. “I missed having to get you up every morning.” She smiled bitterly. “I checked under my bed in Kuo Kuana for days every morning, looking for you. Trying to wake you up. Just habit, I guess”

“Blake…” Yang said softly, smiling tenderly at her and Blake’s mouth quirked slyly at the corners.

“I even missed how you snore every night.”

“Wh-”

“It sounds like an avalanche.”

“Blake!” Yang whined and Blake giggled softly, reaching up to cup Yang’s cheek.

“I could barely sleep without it. I didn’t know how quiet a room could be until you weren’t there.” Yang’s whine turned in a soft whimper, then a hum of satisfaction as Blake stroked her cheek with her thumb. There was a long moment of contented silence before Yang said,

“I missed how you would smile when I told a pun. Nobody smiles at my puns.”

“That’s because they suck,” Blake said dryly and Yang laughed.

“You love them.”

“I love  _ you _ .”

They both froze. 

Blake flushed a bright scarlet and saw that Yang was turning a deep tomato red as they both realized what Blake had said. Blake struggled to come up with something, anything to say to move past that statement, that declaration that no amount of fear or anxiety could shatter. She knew it was true, in a way that wasn’t brought on by the rain or her own doubts. She did love Yang, more than she’d ever loved anyone else before. Still, she managed to stammer out,

“I-I didn’t-”

But Yang cut her off, smiling gently through her blush and whispered, “I love you too.”

Blake gasped and the world froze again. Yang was smiling at her with all the love in the world, all the beautiful grace and caring and kindness that made Yang who she was. Blake couldn't think of anything to say. Not a single word came to her mind, no matter how many romance novels she’d read or times she had fantasized about this exact moment. Blake had thought that her declaration of love for Yang would be under a starlit night in Menagerie or around a campfire, chatting as the embers burned and wood fizzled and popped. None of those fantasies had involved sitting in a bunk bed in the Atlas Academy dormitories. But life never turned out like in fantasies, and so here they were, both still turning beet red and having said they loved one another. 

“S-so,” Yang managed to say, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly, “What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” Blake said softly, finding her voice after struggling for so long, “I’ve never...I don’t know.”

“Uh…” Yang said, eyes searching Blake’s as though answers lay within, though Blake could say definitively that they did not. “Tea?”

“Please,” Blake said softly and Yang’s smile returned full force and Blake felt one of her own spreading across her face. 

“Chamomile?”

“You remembered.”

“It’s your favorite.”

Blake let out a happy sigh and entwined her fingers with Yang’s. If it were up to her, she would never stop holding Yang’s hand. “Let’s go get some tea.” Yang nodded and muttered a small,

“Okay,” before hopping off the bed and gently helping Blake to her feet. Their eyes were red from crying and their cheeks blotchy from tears, but somehow Blake had never felt happier. She loved Yang and somehow, despite all of Blake’s fears, Yang loved her right back.

Blake didn’t know where their relationship would lead, but right now tea sounded like an excellent place to start. 


End file.
